I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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