this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
