i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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