Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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