Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
