If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
