so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
