My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
"it" just moved
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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