Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
