No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
MIDGETS
????
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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