what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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