I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
