Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
