That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
