I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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