You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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