so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This house was built for laser tag.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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