i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
