You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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