hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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