why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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