Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
