i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize