I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
