she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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