I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
