We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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