...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
