Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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