I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
