life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
