The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
