I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
