We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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