i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
