just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
