I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
