He passed out mid-signature
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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