The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
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It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize