2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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