after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
