Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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