I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
