Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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