i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
