Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
