i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
