Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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