You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
