We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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