ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
