Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
