I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
