i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
And then he peed in my hair
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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