Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
