Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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