Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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