You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
