now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
