Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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